Listen...
... To the words that I speak with my heart...
Listen...
... To the words that I say to you...
Listen...
... To me...
I've been told I don't listen. I've been told, "I said that before." I've been told, "You don't listen to me."
And, I've been trying to figure out why. At times, I am the best listener, I know. I listen to, interpret, and comprehend mazes, algorithms, theories, as well as, hypotheses many either care not to understand or even attempt to learn.
Yet, with all this ability I have to interpret and grasp facts, there is still an area in which I'm working on further development, and it's not just dealing with being able to hear what is being conveyed, but to understand, grasp and put into practice after the first notation.
I've found that I'm able to completely listen or not listen at all. If I'm unintentionally indulging in the latter, I've discovered that my mental absence could be due to, being caught up in my own thoughts of what has been previously said or either, I'm not interested, at all. Simple enough, right? No se... (I don't know.)
By my missing facts or important notes I end up hearing one say, "I've said that before," or "You don't listen," or "Why do I have to repeat myself?" or "You don't listen to me." And ironically enough, this happens most often, (whenever it happens) in the situations, with people, I wish it wouldn't have occured with.
Aaaaa, I sigh... Ooooo, I let an old man growl... oye vei, I rest my head back on my pillow and close my eyes. I'm suppose to be better then this. I'm me; simply better than this. So what's the problem? I ask a question with an answer that hides itself from me.
Sigh...
I'm thinking of all this now because of a spat and an argument. With two different people, but two people I wish to not upset. One means a great deal to me, while the other is in a respectable position, though I do not care for her values or moral standards.
And for these to have happened so recently, around the same time, so close to each other on my personal timeline, it's sent my mind into a whirlwind of thought. Thoughts I wish I would just let go. I have a tendency to overthink things, so I believe. Which may be another reason for my disquietness.
Although, my concerns for the future are limited, my thoughts of this instance are abundant. And I'm tired.
I'm tired of all the apparent apathy when it comes to me, but when it comes to others and their concerns, it's me who doesn't listen. Ah... empathy for self turned to anger against someone else. Ha. Not in the least, but close.
At least I've recognized my intermittent problem and I've made and am still making steps to rectify it; but in the meantime I wonder if others are making moves to correct their own problems? Because while I'm listening to you... who will listen to me?
Listen...
Is what's been said to me.
Listen...
Is what I've been told I don't do enough of.
Listen...
Is what they want me to do.
But Listening, is a two way street.
Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on dried quicksand...
Peace.
3 comments:
LOL @ you not liking that person or their morals. But it irks the shit out of me when I talk to people, and at the end of my story, I see they are not listening at all. Ironically, these are the same people who want you to listen to their LOOOOONG stories that bore the shit out of you.
maybe that's why I make this much of a fuss about my blog being up. Because I want MFs to listen to what I have to say.
I understand where you're coming from. Thank you man.
ive been told too often that i dont listen. its something im currently and dilligently working on. i never knew the true importance of that until recently. nice blog.
-b
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