Finally Here ...

I'm back in the land where I've been trying to get to for the past few years. I left Japan with a sweet peace in my heart and a yearning to return. And almost everyday since the time I first left Japanese soil and flew out of the Eastern Hemisphere, I've been thinking of a way to come back.

Throughout this time of waiting, I've experienced death and sorrow; happiness and joy; pain and confusion; heartbreak and anger; understanding and growth; did I mention I also graduated from college with two B.S. degrees. Yes indeed, I'm so proud of this, even as I sit here now I stare at the bag holding the case that has my degrees neatly arranged in the sleeves. And now I know one wonders, "If I'm so proud of them, why are they hidden in a bag?" Well, long story short- -which also takes me further off track, the degrees arrived to Japan before I did. And today, I just got them back.

But, my peace is that I'm here. I'm here. I'm freakin' here. It's amazing to me the things God has in store for us and the fact that we (I) just wine and complain and wine and complain until what we want is given to us. And then when it finally arrives, of course we Thank Him, but then it's like we don't know how to act around Him, because He's answered the desires of our heart.

It's been a long journey in trying to get back to this place and I'm thankful of the things I've learned and *some* of the people I've met, but not of the debt I've accrued. Even in my place of peace I think of things developed in the past that carry on throughout this future. I wonder, "Am I really worthy to be in such a wonderful position?" And then it hits me, "Yes."

This would not have happened if it wasn't meant to be. So even the imps that try and follow me into my "now" don't have any power. I learn, I work and I do my dues to this society and the next.

Things happen for a reason; whether or not we're appreciative of those reasons and learning experiences; things still happen. And if we keep fighting to get to where we want, and keep our desire in the forefront of our minds without letting it cloud our everday judgement, we will get there.

I'm a witness to this.

I've struggled deeply and some of that struggle has had some overage. But, I've prayed, I've believed and I've spoken it into existence. And all of this work has paid off. The Lord did not let this desire pass by unanswered. It came at the time it needed to arrive and now because of this faith and I can say, "I'm Finally Here."

I hope one day, you'll be able to say the same thing for whatever your heart may desire. But if/when you get there, remember that The Almighty is to be kept first. He is in fact the reason for all existence anyway, whether you believe this or not. One day you will.




© Robyn K. Mizelle, September 2007.